Archive for September 5th, 2003

Friday, September 5th, 2003

i am empty and broken
trying to pick up my shattered heart
the wind is blowing but i feel no movement
i’ve lost the reason for my breath

as the hum
of a neon sign sings a song
to the shadows of 19th avenue
i can feel the darkness pull me in

i’m sitting here
waiting for an answer
that never seems to show its face
and i don’t know where to go from here

didn’t you see me falling?
didn’t you hear me scream?
didn’t you see me falling?
into a sea of endless tears.

Ed

Friday, September 5th, 2003

I’m back at Burger King. So right now I’m holding down 3 jobs, and BK is full time…..I don’t know if I can do this! Anyway, I’m not here to contemplate my resiliance, so I’ll get on with it. I was sitting outside on my lunch break this afternoon, when a man sat down at another outside table with a burger and a coffee. His clothes were filthy, his face was scruffy, his hands looked like they hadn’t seen soap in a few months, and he kept bowing his head down every so often as he whispered things to himself. People inside were probably glad he was outside. They wouldn’t want to see him because he would make them uncomfortable. He would disturb their picture perfect world of perfect people who “have it all together”. I sat there and knew I was supposed to go talk to him. So after a few minutes I did. His name is Ed. He used to be a truck driver. He has a daughter who is 15 and he never gets to see her. You know what is the most important thing I know about him? He is beautiful. God sees Ed as a beautiful man, and God gave me His eyes this afternoon. I saw beauty in Ed. I saw in Ed what exists at the core of us all: the need and desire to be loved. I saw the way his face lit up when I asked if I could sit with him. He was happy to be noticed, happy to be someone. And on my drive home I realized something else: Ed needs no more saving than I do. We are the same. Well, I knew that in theory, but talking to Ed cemented that truth in my mind. Grace just keeps becoming more and more mysterious to me.