Yesterday I finally recognized God’s voice again. I’ve been avoiding his input because I have been so caught up in planning things the way I want them. I was driving home from Saskatoon last night, when the northern lights started pulsing across the sky. First green, then red and orange. And I sat there in my car, and I realized that God was speaking to me. Psalm 19:1-4 says:
The heavens tell of the glory of God.
The skies display his marvelous craftsmanship.
Day after day they continue to speak;
night after night they make him known.
They speak without a sound or a word;
their voice is silent in the skies;
yet their message has gone out to all the earth,
and their words to all the world. (NLT)
So I shut up and listened to the silent voice that was speaking to me. I drove to the field at the end of my road and got out of the car, stood outside in the cold, and listened.
I am amazed at how I think I know what is best for me; I’m amazed how I think I know exactly what I want. And then it all comes crashing down and I realize that my plans are all just bare threads that don’t weave together to form anything constructive or useful. I take my life into my own hands and try to fit the pieces together, but nothing fits. It all comes crashing down.
And I realize that the only thing I’m sure of, is that I’m not sure of anything.
God’s plans take the form of millions of threads, and he weaves them together until they become this work of art that demands we look in awe at what he is able to do. God tells us he has plans for us, and he knows what they are (Jer.29:11) *All* we need to do is trust him; trust that his plans are better than ours are.
So what I’m sure of is that I don’t have a clue what I want. I really don’t. I want God’s will for my life, and I don’t know what that entails. I promised my life to God, no one else, and I have to stay true to that.