Archive for December, 2003

A church is more than…

Wednesday, December 31st, 2003

A church is more than just timber and stone
And freedom is a dark road when you’re walking it alone
But the future is now, and it’s time to take a stand
So the lost bells of freedom can ring out in my land

A church is burning
The flames rise higher
Like hands that are praying
They glow in the sky
Like hands that are praying
The fire ascends
You can burn down my churches
But I shall be free
(From Simon & Garfunkel’s “A Church is Burning“)

We have multiplied our posessions, but reduced our values.

Monday, December 29th, 2003

My mom showed me this a couple years ago and I just stumbled across it again. It’s and insightful collection of thoughts written by a student at Columbine High School. There’s some really hard hitting points in here.

“The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We’ve conquered outer space, but not inner space; we’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we’ve split the atom, but not our prejudice.
We have higher incomes, but lower morals; we’ve become long on quantity, but short on quality.
These are the times of tall men, and short character; steep profits and shallow relationships.
These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.
These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes.
It is a time when there is much in the show window and no thing in the stockroom; a time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to make a difference. . . or just hit delete.”

Murderous Love

Sunday, December 28th, 2003

My large family is all home for the holidays, and sometimes we get some pretty interesting conversations going. Tonight the topic of choice during supper was capital punishment: what do you think of it?
A few people around the table think that it is ok. That the government has been put in place by God and that we need to respect the government’s decisions and if the government says “capital punishment: ok” then we should too (or something like that). My thought on that (and this just came to me now), is: what about all the other things that the government puts in place that my family has huge problems with? This I don’t understand.

My thought on the whole issue is this:
God has called us to love others. I fail to see how killing someone for what they’ve done wrong shows love to them. Yes, it probably would be justice in a sense. And God is a just god, but he is also a God of mercy, and grace. If he were only focused on justice, we would all be toast. We would all be dead in our transgressions and there would be no way out. Somehow, God balances mercy and grace into his justice equation. Jesus is our mercy and grace. Jesus relieves the severity of the justice we deserve.
If we have been pardoned, do we not also have the responsibility to show mercy and grace to others? We are to represent Christ. Re-present God. There is not one criminal in prison that is beyond the reach of God. No matter how hard and callous someone may be, God has not written that person off. That person is still loved as much as you and I. Despite how many people someone may have murdered or raped or what have you, that person is still loved as much as you and I. Kinda makes you feel shafted hey? “But God! I’ve done all these good things, and that person has done so many bad things. Don’t you love me more? Am I not more lovely?” But the truth is that we are not. So if God does not give up on the murderers, and if God does not give up on the rapists….and we are to re-present God to the world…..than is it not safe to say that we should not give up on them? If we are to love them, does that not mean nottaking their life? It makes sense to me.

What do you think?

God in a t-shirt store

Thursday, December 18th, 2003

Today I was at Schmatta (Clay was getting a shirt made. Mmm, baseball shirts are where it’s at :) Anyway, I was wearing my t-shirt that I got at Encounter (Columbia Bible College), and a girl that works at Schmatta was like, “Did you go there (CBC)?” I said no, I had just been at Encounter. Then a few minutes later she was like, “So, do you go to church in the city?” And told her I attend Dalmeny Community Church (though not very regularly), and that I am part of a home church in Saskatoon.

That got us talking for a while about church. It was really great. She is a really sweet girl who is in church transition right now and it was cool to talk to her and hear where she’s at. She has a few friends who are part of another home church, and so she was wondering what ours is like. I can understand how the idea of it is very foreign to people. She said, “it’s weird because talking to my friends…they don’t meet in a regular place and their church doesn’t have a name and it’s kinda weird to hear them say, “yeah, I did the sermon this week” and stuff like that.” Yet she is someone who is dissatisfied with huge churches: they are too impersonal. She wants something smaller and more community-ish. It just blew me away how such a great conversation came up in a totally random place like that.

We also got talking about ministry and what are good and bad approaches. (The world needs more people ministering through love, and less people preaching through the fire and brimstone approach). She has a friend who turned down a university scholarship so that she could get involved with a group that repairs peoples’ homes out of a heart of love for the people living in them. I think that is awesome. Practical ministry is something that really inspires me.

Finally!

Thursday, December 18th, 2003

I booked my flight today and coughed up a lot of cash, though not nearly as much as I was initially anticipating. I am leaving for Sweden on February 4! I’ll be there for three months, then travel to Germany in May for a few weeks, and be home on May 15. I’m actually going! I’m going! I’m going! This is so surreal.
Hey, does anyone have a hiking backpack that I can borrow?? Please?? I would be so appreciative you can not even imagine. Maybe I’d even hook you up with some free Starbucks coffee in return :)

I’ve got one hand in my pocket, and the other one is…

Thursday, December 11th, 2003

So I’ve been playing with the idea of moving to Winnipeg next year. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned that yet…and I’ve been keen, yet not, with the idea of Clay moving here next year….but then what would happen if I went to Winnipeg. Blah blah blah, all this stuff.
So I realized that in my mind it seems easier to go to Winnipeg, harder to stay here. Because if I went to Winnipeg I would know what to expect. I would know what it’s like to be with the people there and yada yada yada. If I stayed here and Clay came, it would be a completely new experience. It sounds weird, but staying here seems like more of a risk than moving away.
So this morning, I woke up and things were so clear to me.
“Kimbo, you have to make a choice. They are both risks, but which one will you take? You cannot take both. You must make a decision. Which path will you devote your energy to?”

So. That’s the question.
“And what it all comes down to…is that everything’s gonna be fine fine fine…”

A cup of cheer

Thursday, December 11th, 2003

*$ xmas
A Venti Christmas to you, a Venti Christmas to you…

And the verdict is…

Tuesday, December 9th, 2003


My life is rated PG-13. Is it because I said ass in my last post?
What is your life rated?
Link via: Neely

Breakdown

Monday, December 8th, 2003

Holy wow, today was messed up. The past few days have been messed up.
For the past 5 months, I’ve been very up and down about my relationship with Clay. Thursday marked the start of another “down” time for me. I was just like, “Frick, I don’t even care anymore…what the heck am I doing??” I don’t even know how to explain it. I always come to this place though, so it was like, “ok, here we go again….super.” Had no clue what I should do. I had promised him a while back that I would never make a huge decision about where our relationship is or is not heading if we were apart. By the way, for anyone who doesn’t know, he lives in Edmonton. Anyway….. I was all stressed about what I should do. “Should I be dating him?? Should I not? Why am I dating him?” All these questions making me stressed. Now I’m not. I don’t know what’s going on. But things are ok, I know that much. I know that doesn’t make much sense, but truly, I don’t want to think right now.

So, as a result of my stress, I woke up on Sunday morning with a big-ass cold sore on my lip. I seem to get them primarily when I am stressed out. So my top lip was (and still is) swollen as huge as a grapefruit (ok, it’s not quite that bad…) and I have this raunchy sore on it. I don’t look like myself, ergo, I do not feel like myself. I know I look rediculous and don’t want people to see me like this. Another source of stress was that I was scheduled to work at Central Haven and at Starbucks at the same time tomorrow. I’ve been trying since Friday to switch shifts around in order to avoid having to be in two places at once (in case you didn’t know, I am not God; therefore, it’s not possible for me to work at both places at the same time). So I wake up this morning completely on the wrong side of the bed. Got out of bed, sobbing, so I went to wash my face, hoping that I would be able to stop crying. It worked for a few minutes. Then I was about to leave for work (horray for 8 hour shifts when you look like a freak…) and my Dad asked me if I was ok. My eyes started welling up. “No I’m not ok. I have to work at both jobs tomorrow and none of my shift switching attempts are working. Plus, I look retarded with this stupid lip!” He quoted Philippians 4:6-7 to me, told me to just pray about it and trust that God would help take care of my shift situation. I sort of believed him. Sort of didn’t. Then he gave me a hug and I lost it. Sobbing all over again. What a mess.

Well you know what? I got rid of not one, but BOTH of my shifts tomorrow. Dang. How cool is that?! So not only do I not have to stress about my shifts, but I can stay home and not have anyone look at my yucky lip. Thank you Lord! Now if only my lip would heal….

New blogger!

Thursday, December 4th, 2003

The wonderful and extremely hot Hailey Friesen is now blogging. She’s got a cool thought on prayer up right now. Check it out!

A catch-up

Thursday, December 4th, 2003

So um…I guess I haven’t blogged in a while. Oh well. I’m not too worried.
I’ll elaborate a bit on why I liked church a week and a half ago.
I showed up about 20 minutes late (as I usually do when I go to church on Sunday), and made my way up to my perch in the balcony…but decided to sit in the front row instead of the back. You know, be a little more social…haha. So I sat down just as the “sharing time” was starting, and I was very very encouraged by a couple of people and their comments. One guy said something like, “It seems that things in the church stay in the church too much. We live with such a hope and in the Lord, can posess so much joy. What can we do to bring the hope and joy that we have to people outside the church?” I was like, “Uh, whoa, this isn’t quite your average thought process in a church….” and then a woman stood up and talked about how, living in a small town, we get to know peoples’ reputations pretty quickly and sometimes (often) label them and write them off. “Alcoholic….does drugs…” and place them in some kind of “hopeless” folder. Then she said, “How DARE I, who have known of God’s grace since I was a child, judge and write these people off and refuse to let others experience that grace?!” She was full on passionate about it and I was super pumped. Fully. And then the sermon actually clicked with me…actually made me think. Talked about the sin of anger. Man, I’ve never even really thought about anger as being a sin. But truly, it is one that I struggle with. One point the pastor made was that anger is sometimes motivated by self-pity. Hell-o, that would be me. So yeah, that was my experience with church. Pretty impressed. We’ll see how things go this Sunday.

Been struggling huge with self-pity and self worth again lately. Thinking I’m not worth peoples’ efforts and love. Maybe it’s because I’m afraid of commitment and so I come up with whatever excuse I can to avoid it. I can’t yet handle the idea of settling down for the rest of my life yet. I have too much travelling and exploring to do before I “settle down”. Too many things to experience as a person who isn’t tied down by a billion things. I can’t think about going to post-secondary school because that requires commitment…what if something better comes along? Then I would have wasted a bunch of money on an education I won’t use. I can’t think about getting married, because dude, that is just too far away. Let’s not even go there. I need more time to spread my wings and fly, and do whatever the heck I want.

Work has been keeping me supremely busy lately. Today’s my only day off this week. My jobs give me a good mix though. I’ll work at Central Haven (the nursing home) for a few days and it’s awesome because the residents there are so great. Then after a few days I’m like, “ok, I need to do something mindless because this requires a lot of emotional investment”, so I go work at Starbucks for a few days and have a great time. Then I think, “Ok, I need to do something that matters!” So I go back to Central Haven for a few days. Keeps me busy, keeps things interesting. Not just the same thing over and over and over again, day in and day out.

Sweden….starting to get things put into place. Requested my leave of absense at one job already. I’ve definitely got enough money for a ticket, now I just need to book it……yeah, I don’t know. Still doesn’t quite seem real that I’m going.

Ran into Rachelle, a girl from high school today. Had an awesome chat with her. It’s really cool. I mean, we never really talked much in school, but it’s great to be able to catch up. She’s a sweet girl. And frick, she’s lived in Taiwan for 7 and a half months. If that’s not cool, what is??

Shalom y’all. I’m off to….read?