Oh Diclectin, come back to me.
Archive for January, 2007
The following is an excerpt from an email to my sister. I wrote it out once and there’s no point in writing it again in a few different words.
Every once in a while, for years already, I get a sharp pain in my chest when I breathe: breathing deeply makes it even worse. It usually goes away after about 5 minutes, but on Saturday it had been an hour and a half already and still hurting, so I decided to call this HealthLine that SaskHealth has. You can talk to a nurse about your symptoms and she can guide you as to what you should do. Well when she found out I had chest pain and was pregnant, she said, “Ok, you need to hang up the phone and call EMS.” I asked if I could just get Clay to drive me to the hospital (an ambulance seemed a little dramatic for my taste), and she said she’d rather I call EMS but it would be ok for Clay to drive me. But if it got worse, to pull over and call 911. Well, that’s a little scary to hear. I said ok and hung up. This was after 9 pm, so Markus was in bed already, so we had to find someone to come stay at the house with him because I was not about to drag him to the ER until all hours of the night. Mom and Dad weren’t home, so I called my friend Janelle and she zipped over to our house. Off to St. Paul’s hospital we went. They actually got me in quite quickly, but we still did a lot of waiting for a nurse and for tests to be done and blood to be annalyzed. They thought I might have a blood clot in my lung. Thankfully that came back negative. In the end, the doctor told me that there is some cartilage between my ribs and breastbone, and that is inflamed, resulting in the stabbing pain when I breathe. She said it’s probably going to bother me off and on during the rest of my pregnancy. Oh joy. But what a relief that it was nothing serious. We finally got home at 1:30, and fell into bed shortly thereafter. Well, I fell very gently, as I still could not breath without it hurting. Sunday morning I woke up with it still there, but it disappeared on the way to church and hasn’t come back since. How thankful I am.
I would just like to let everyone know that I thought the blizzard this week was fantastic. Some people ask, “Why do we live here?” and I think, “This is exactly why we live here!” These storms that creep up out of nowhere, whatever the season, and pound us with an unexpected display of power are what make life in Saskatchewan exciting. That and the sky.
It has been so long since we have had a winter with a real amount of snow. As I was shovelling a path to the garage yesterday (Clay’s gloves were all in the car, so it was my joy to get out and work a little) I found myself longing to be fifteen years younger, if only for that afternoon. Had I the imagination of a seven year old, I could have spent hours outdoors, bundled up like only our moms knew how to bundle, and built incredible forts and who knows what else. Alas, I’m 22 and 3 1/2 months pregnant, and did not spend the afternoon frolicking in the snow.
I’m not as keen on the frigid weather, but this prairie girl will never say no to a storm, winter or summer. There’s something so very exciting about the prospect of being shut off from the rest of the world for a little while. Even with all our technology these days, we are no match for the wonder of nature God has created and unleashed on us this week. His power amazes me.
Clay finally got his Wii today! One of the guys he works with was able to get an extra one, so he let Clay buy it. This whole process of tracking it down has been a bit like dealing drugs or something: you have to know someone who knows someone who saw the truck pull into Wal-Mart with the shipment. Hilarious! He’s very excited, and I have to say I’m enjoying it a lot too. It’s a great day in this world when fat video game playing kids have to get off their couch in order to play their games! I actually got tired out from playing tennis. It will be great to get some classic games though and sit down to play for a bit too :)
“Life and love and why.”
I used to sit around thinking and writing about what life is about and what I wanted my life to say or be, or do. I would ponder the depths of my heart and wish for a day in the future when my dreams would come true. I’d wish for the day when a dashing prince would come take me away and we would live in our castle and be blissfully happy and raise a family together. Here I am: my day has come. My prince showed up out of nowhere and wisked me away to this tiny little castle where I now chase after a tiny princling of our own, with another on the way. My day has come, and I feel as though I don’t have much to dream about. I feel like there isn’t much depth in my heart to ponder anymore, and I wonder if there ever will be again. I am happy, make no mistake. Like I said, this is the life I dreamed of. But I wonder, is there not something else to hope for? Is there nothing left to ponder and search for and cry about and write music about? I have no more lamenting songs of heartache as the boy I like walks away from me as I hold back my tears. I feel no painful struggle to stay away from the enticing tangles of youth. And somehow I don’t think that a song about diapers and laundry would have any appeal to anyone – least of all me. My heart aches for something to ache for, but I don’t feel an ache for anything but that.
“Could it be true? Can life be new? Could it be all that I am is in You?”
(“lyrics” by switchfoot)