Archive for May, 2008

Something to think about…

Wednesday, May 28th, 2008

“Men don’t have a feminine side: they’re men!
Dogs don’t have a cat side!”
Mark Driscoll

Again I Will Say, REJOICE!

Thursday, May 22nd, 2008

So we watched the video podcast of “The Rebel’s Guide to Joy in Anxiety” last night and it was so awesome. Pastor Mark often says that the lessons to be learned in the Bible are always timely because they are timeless and it is so true. The Rebel’s Guide to Joy is his sermon series on Philippians and he was teaching from chapter 4:2-9.

I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

He defined anxiety (non-clinically, non-technically) as assuming the worst possible outcome will happen in any given situation and freaking out about it, and said that if you react to a situation with anxiety rather than responding to Jesus you are not being biblical. He said that anxiety is a sin to be repented of not a condition to be managed, that anxiety becomes a functional saviour that, if turned to instead of Christ, becomes a false god. Strong language, I know! But it somehow makes sense. We are called to rejoice in the Lord always. Again, Paul says, REJOICE!!! Don’t rejoice in bad circumstances but rejoice in the Lord because no matter how bad your circumstances may be, God is ALWAYS good and there is always something to praise him for. He goes on to say we shouldn’t be anxious about anything. Anything? ANYTHING! Wow. This is so challenging.

I have felt God’s hand at work in my life in the past few years in this exact area of anxiety. My last few years of high school and the years following were filled with a lot of depression and anxiety and I know I always reacted to my circumstances rather than responding to Jesus. Instead of going to Jesus in prayer until my heart, not my circumstances changed, I would give way to anxiety and FREAK OUT. And it is strange, in these situations, how we feel we can justify all kinds of sin because of our circumstances. “Yes I may have been selfishly angry, bitter, nasty, ________ (fill in the blank), but I have a good reason.” There is never a good reason for sin. I can’t pinpoint an exact turning point, but over the past few years my heart has slowly been turning from an anxious one to one that turns to Jesus in crises and in turn, is filled with peace. I am so thankful for a loving husband who is constantly teaching me about the love of Christ in the way that he loves me and who draws me closer to the Lord as he shows me what godly love looks like. I look at my heart, usually filled with peace in spite of my circumstance of being a young mom with two small boys, and I can’t explain my lack of anxiety in any other way except it is by the grace of God. I am learning to run to Jesus and rejoice in him rather than freak out about my circumstances and life feels so much more full and abundant because of it.

My prayer for you is that in all situations you will bring your heart to Jesus and pray it out until you feel better. He may not change your circumstances, but he will change your heart and make you more and more able to rejoice through the good as well as bad times.

Mom knows best.

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008

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I probably should not be on the computer right now as I am recovering from a killer migraine headache but I just want to tell you all how thankful I am for my mom. I woke up this morning with my head feeling like it was in a vice and after my wonderful husband got the boys up and fed I was still feeling awful. Words can’t describe the despair I feel when I have a migraine… my emotions get totally fried and I get all anxious and panicky. Add to that the fact that my dear oldest son is a tad rebellious lately, and I was freaked out about being at home with the boys today. I knew that I did not have the patience to deal with Markus in love like I need to. Mom was planning on coming over this morning and she came early so I could go back to bed and took a family illness day at work to stay here with the boys so that I could recover. I stand by the fact that when you are sick there is nothing better than having your mom near to make you feel so loved and cared for. After I had a shower, which made me feel slightly more normal and human, I had such a good talk with mom over some fat mugs of tea. I always feel listened to when Mom turns her ear. Thanks Mom, you’re the best!

Lesson Learned?

Thursday, May 15th, 2008

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I think I was about 14 when I first got my hair cut really short. Every 1-2 years I get the idea that I should grow my hair long again because I think it would be nice to be able to have a ponytail and do all the glamourous things I see other women doing with their flowing locks. You know, look like a movie star that has a professional stylist and loads of extensions glued to her head. Only for some reason, when I’m in the process of growing it out, I have this notion that movie stars actually do their own hair and it really is their own hair. Then my hair gets to about shoulder length and if I use my imagination and a lot of bobby pins I can put it into a ponytail. It’s when I’m at this point that I throw my hands in the air and the elastics at the mirror and exclaim, “What was I thinking? I’m not 13 anymore, and I can’t pull off this long hair thing!” And even it it was good and long I know I wouldn’t do anything glamourous with it, I’d just run around with a boring ponytail everyday. I then proceed to get my hair cut, as I did today, and wonder if I will ever learn my lesson.

A wave of babies…

Wednesday, May 14th, 2008

Everyone is having babies! My sister had a baby last month, my sister-in-law is expecting in September. And I know of eight other women who are pregnant right now. Eight! WOW! Clay and I know that we want to have more kids but thought we’d wait a little while longer before our next baby. With all these expectant women around me though, I am beginning to wonder what we’re waiting for! And it is so nice to be able to share the experience of pregnancy with someone who can relate firsthand. We’d have to hurry up though if I wanted to be pregnant with this wave of women ;) haha
Though the days can be difficult as they are filled with mountains of laundry, sinks full of dishes, mouths to feed, hands and faces to wipe, rebellion to be corrected, diapers to change, trips to the potty, floors to be swept and vacuumed, meals to cook…. I honestly wouldn’t trade it for anything. Anything! Not for a career, not for traveling the world, not for furthering my “education” (as if I don’t have a steep learning curve right now!!)… there is nothing more exciting, intriguing, or rewarding than what I am doing right now. And if I feel blessed to be doing this with two little ones, how much more with three? :)

Digging in.

Tuesday, May 13th, 2008

A lack of postage on this blog seems to be due to two main factors:

1) I am a busy stay at home mom who can’t really even keep up with the laundry because there is too much hockey to be played and fruit to be cut, walks to be walked and discipline to be dealt. Blogging is one of the last things I get to on the computer, after email, facebook, blog reading and sermon listening.

2) I’ve been very reserved with what I’ve been willing to share lately because in the past I have, at times, felt very attacked for my opinions and convictions on certain things. Well it’s been a while since I’ve taken a beating and my courage has rebuilt to the point where I feel just about ready to put myself on the line again. Admittedly I am not always one to present my thoughts with the utmost tact or to hold back because I might hurt some feelings. I’m not sure if this is something that needs repentance or not.

I can’t repair the fact that I don’t have a lot of time to blog, and I’m not lamenting the absence of time because it is way more fun to play with the boys and hang out with my husband than it is to blog. Nonetheless, I have so many thoughts swirling in my mind lately, thanks largely to all the sermons I have been listening to by Mark Driscoll from Mars Hill Church in Seattle. He is a wise man who teaches the Bible without apology and God is using his teaching to reawaken an understanding of a lot of the doctrine and convictions that my dabbling in the Pomo/Emerging/whatever you want to call it Church had called into question.

Jesus, God made flesh for the salvation of our souls, desires repentance of sin as we walk humbly as he did. He lived the perfect life we have not lived and died the death we should have died so that we could be made right with God. Thank you Jesus. I pray that I will be able to articulate my thoughts clearly as I wrestle through some stuff. I hope this blog can be a place for me to freely share my thoughts and not a war zone of criticism. Let’s dialogue.

I don’t know anything about podcasts, Clay takes care of all the technical stuff for me, but if you go to the Mars Hill website you can access a ton of sermons. I definitely recommend checking it out and hearing for yourself some really solid Bible teaching.

Spring means…

Friday, May 9th, 2008

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Garage sales! Tomorrow is the annual town garage sale in Dalmeny and we’re hoping to sell some stuff. It’s really not junk, just not necessary to us anymore. Come check it out!